Post by Dead Man Walking on Nov 24, 2006 23:43:51 GMT 1
I hereby challenge all members to take part and hunt down the person - female, I suspect - who sent me a belated birthday card bearing the image of a nude buxom blond and entitled 'Man's Guide To Women'.
It can only have come from a member of this forum, and was posted to me c/o the TRPD address. In fact, someone who has recently been following certain dialogue exchanges here.
Inside the card there is a list of erroneous assumptions and porky-pies, that bear no relationship to the women in my life. I cannot allow their reputations to be besmirched in such manner.
What a lot of rubbish this list is...
1. Once a month, go on holiday in the cupboard under the stairs - it's safer!
2. When your brain is thinking "What a load of bollocks" just say "Yes, dear."
3. No, her bum does not look big EVER.
4. Never say her friends are attractive.
5. No, she doesn't fancy a threesome. Don't ever suggest it.
6. Do not believe her when she says she doesn't want a big present.
7. When she says she wants a surprise, give her a surprise she's expecting, like flowers, not an actual surprise, like a Hoover.
8. Get used to watching soaps.
9. And waiting for her outside toilets.
10. The answer to all arguments is CHOCOLATES.
If the culprit does not confess within 24 hours, all members may hunt down and post the name of the person they most suspect (or can prove) sent this load of twaddle.
Whoever is first to nail them bang to rights here by naming them, may nominate a rescue to receive a NICE Christmas present from me, personally, and the guilty party will go to jail.
Fear not, I WILL track down the culprit and identify them. I am not nicknamed El Gato without reason. ;D
Later I might even be tempted to explain why that list is a load of old horse manure.
It can only have come from a member of this forum, and was posted to me c/o the TRPD address. In fact, someone who has recently been following certain dialogue exchanges here.
Inside the card there is a list of erroneous assumptions and porky-pies, that bear no relationship to the women in my life. I cannot allow their reputations to be besmirched in such manner.
What a lot of rubbish this list is...
1. Once a month, go on holiday in the cupboard under the stairs - it's safer!
2. When your brain is thinking "What a load of bollocks" just say "Yes, dear."
3. No, her bum does not look big EVER.
4. Never say her friends are attractive.
5. No, she doesn't fancy a threesome. Don't ever suggest it.
6. Do not believe her when she says she doesn't want a big present.
7. When she says she wants a surprise, give her a surprise she's expecting, like flowers, not an actual surprise, like a Hoover.
8. Get used to watching soaps.
9. And waiting for her outside toilets.
10. The answer to all arguments is CHOCOLATES.
If the culprit does not confess within 24 hours, all members may hunt down and post the name of the person they most suspect (or can prove) sent this load of twaddle.
Whoever is first to nail them bang to rights here by naming them, may nominate a rescue to receive a NICE Christmas present from me, personally, and the guilty party will go to jail.
Fear not, I WILL track down the culprit and identify them. I am not nicknamed El Gato without reason. ;D
Later I might even be tempted to explain why that list is a load of old horse manure.