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Post by Old Dragon (Al) on Dec 5, 2006 0:40:48 GMT 1
For a nice little Christmas parcel for the foster pups, I hereby challenge Ajs to discover the mysteries of the Vice Cop's recent life here on the board and to tell all here what he's been up to lately that makes it impossible for him to drive... and that's not necessarily anything to do with waking the pig! Oh, and while doing so, Alison, perhaps you'd confess whether you still really believe your signature? pmsl
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Post by Ann K on Dec 5, 2006 16:56:18 GMT 1
And don't forget, if you need any help I know a bit about his latest mishap
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Post by Old Dragon (Al) on Dec 5, 2006 22:54:14 GMT 1
Yes, there is no reason whatsoever not to adopt the VC's motto of Don't Do; Delegate! for this challenge. You can have as much help as you need off anyone with clues, and who wants those poor pups to have the blankets... I'd much rather have their space than their company!
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Post by ajs on Dec 6, 2006 1:14:51 GMT 1
ooh my bootiful puppies. How could anyone not want them? Well I know that poor Mike has suffered an injury courtesy of a cracked member (who did not let in the light after all) - I will definitely change my footnote after all of this! I do not know the reason why yet and I think this should be revealed....hmmm....
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Post by Ann K on Dec 6, 2006 1:23:09 GMT 1
You must reveal it Ajs
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Post by Old Dragon (Al) on Dec 6, 2006 1:49:01 GMT 1
Actually, only a member of the race of 'human beans', and not a TRPD/Triune group member... more the sort of 'rescue' person that brings the majority into disrepute and considered 'crackpots' by the majority of the race of human beans. And I must stop giving you clues and let you have some fun for yourself. I think there are enough members with bits of the story as clues now. I hope they hurry up and give you theirs, so that I can pack up the blankets for those puppies. (I am sure I must have duck-poo on me somewhere, I keep getting a whiff of ducks - unless it is off Scampi's muddy paws after him going egg-hunting in the duck shed here - again? )
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Post by ajs on Dec 6, 2006 22:31:44 GMT 1
well thanks to the help of a couple of kindly team members I think I might have cracked it by jove - or have I quacked it?? I gather Mike must be very proud of his garden and does not take kindly to Al's nurtured garden wreckers - of the variety that go quack! On seeing a few prime quackers on his roof he decided to shoot into the air to scare em off - but big "mummy duck" Al was there and reacted as all angry mummies would upon seeing their babies frightened...and kicked out at the aggressor. In this case it was possibly a bit harder than intended - maybe... and Mike suffered a very poorly leg putting him out of action... ...I bet he is going to be seeking his revenge on the feathered fiends... I am sure we have not heard the end of this tale yet ... any good? Am I right? ;D
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Post by Old Dragon (Al) on Dec 6, 2006 22:38:27 GMT 1
You are one blanket warm, Alison. Mike has indeed received a leg injury, but not from me, I was MILES away at the time. Indeed, someone demanded that he remove their ducks from his roof, where they had flown of their own accord. He did fire a shot in the air, in a safe direction, and because that was likely the only way to get the ducks down, him not being capable of shinning up walls or drain pipes, and not having a ladder to hand.
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Post by ajs on Dec 7, 2006 18:53:52 GMT 1
well that sound like a fine plan - strange request though! So who kicked him then?
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Post by Old Dragon (Al) on Dec 7, 2006 19:37:13 GMT 1
Shall we call her the 'Mad-duck Woman' for want of a better name, Alison?
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Post by mickyzoe on Dec 12, 2006 19:24:38 GMT 1
i've read there was a steel toe cap boot doing the kickin
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Post by Old Dragon (Al) on Dec 12, 2006 22:08:48 GMT 1
There was, indeed, Michelle. No, I don't wear those, before anyone asks! (But I DID hear a bit more... Mike reckoned that then he managed to catch the 'Mad-Duck Woman's wrists to stop her using those on him, he caught a strong whiff to suggest she had been tippling on the 'Russian tea'. )
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Post by AliBullie on Dec 13, 2006 18:53:18 GMT 1
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Post by Selina the Moorland Minx on Dec 17, 2006 17:50:31 GMT 1
Stop it Ali I'm crying
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Post by Old Dragon (Al) on Dec 17, 2006 19:11:55 GMT 1
Why, Selina? Mike did not shoot at or aim anywhere near the ducks! That after trying to coax them down by throwing chicken corn around!
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Post by Dead Man Walking on Jan 4, 2007 21:17:46 GMT 1
I have been reminded that I need to explain all. ;D Firstly, a few years ago, a small number of Muscovy ducks and drakes appeared suddenly on my property. It materialised that these had been 'rescued' by a woman living about two miles away (less as the crow flies) and on a smallholding that occupies an elevated position overlooking the valley where my home is situated. Clearly, these birds had been released onto the holding with various other poultry breeds and their owner had not realised that, unlike many domesticated farmyard duck breeds, Muscovy ducks can and do like to fly. With a clear view of attractive feeding grounds in the valley below, and from their perches on the roofs of the holding's buildings, they took to the air and pastures new. Their presence on my property didn't particularly bother me, but I did object to their owner accusing me of 'stealing' her ducks. That lot were commuting on a daily basis, but with no attempt made to confine them or clip their wings to prevent them flying on the part of the owner, their number rapidly decreased to zero and the local foxes fed well. The evidence of fox activity was plain to see, but the ducks' owner was convinced her ducks had ended up in my freezer. One would have thought that lessons might have been learned from that experience, but a few weeks ago their owner decided to 'rescue' two dozen Muscovy ducks, or rather this time almost all drakes, and to prevent them becoming Christmas dinners. Did she keep them confined or clip any wings? No. Once again the latest ducks took to the air and no less than twenty-three took up residence on my roof and chose to forage in my fields, manure heap and even took over the garden - an area that I have fenced off and secured against the attentions of my own poultry. Once again the Muscovy ducks' owner decided to take issue over my 'possession' of her ducks, and this time they were not returning to the smallholding at all. Twenty-four had become twenty-three (the most I have ever counted perched on my roofs) and instead of calling on me politely to request help recapturing her strays, or for help clipping their wings, the woman in question arrived on my yard in a very angry state, accusing me of stealing them again and disposing of one. There was no reasoning with her, and despite throwing corn down onto the yard in an attempt to encourage the ducks off the roofs and into a stable where they could be perhaps be captured and returned, she behaved in a manner to ensure they stayed where they were, screaming and waving her arms around while demanding they were removed from my roofs. I suggested the only way to get them down might be to fetch the scatter gun and see if they could be dislodged that way - by scarring them off. While I fetched the 410 shotgun from the house, the woman continued her abusive tirade to visitors who were on the yard and trying to calm her down. I returned, said I'd fire a shot into the air, and did so. That nowhere near the house or ducks, but out over an empty field. The ducks rose into the air but instead of heading back toward their owner's holding, they flew toward and landed in another waterlogged field. With that, the owner flew at me, swearing a cursing that I'd shot one of her ducks. I managed to catch hold of her hands because she was attempting to punch me, but she lashing out with her feet, too and was wearing boots with steel toecaps. She managed to land a kick just below my knee and with enough force to chip a bone. That before several visitors came to my aid and managed to restrain her and someone called the police. At close quarters it became obvious the woman had been drinking, but she then broke free of those trying to restrain her, got back into her vehicle and took off. Some days later, we managed to get the majority of the remaining ducks down onto the yard (sixteen of them and with just two more refusing to play ball), herded them into a stable, clipped a wing of each and then got them crated up and driven home. The only trouble was, the place was deserted! There were no signs of any poultry, or even the dogs she kept on the yard. Peering in through the windows, it doesn't look as if the place is occupied now. I thought she owned the smallholding, but apparently not. She was in arrears with the rent and the owners would like to discover her whereabouts as much as I would. I offered to hand over the ducks to offset some of the rent arrears, but so far they've not been tempted. The same can't be said for the local foxes. Only one of the two ducks still at large can now be seen. He, a large, ugly drake, seems to have taken up residence in my garden and roosts on a planter outside the conservatory doors, and where he craps for Wales. I've told the collies and Kes that his name is 'Breakfast' but so far they've not taken the hint and the local foxes haven't ventured close enough to the house capture him. With effort, and a net, he'll be soon joining the others that are now penned up awaiting developments.
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Post by ajs on Jan 9, 2007 0:00:35 GMT 1
Oh blimey - what a saga!!!! Sorry but have only just caught up on this - I would never have got all that lot without mega help!
What is happening with the ducks now? Surely no-one wants them.
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Post by Jazz on Mar 22, 2007 9:10:58 GMT 1
How did I miss all this?
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